How can I ease the pain?

December 1-9, 2014

My nightingales, I tried unsuccessfully to call you today. My telephone account is still empty. I was promised to be allowed to call around 5:30 pm but the guard didn't show up to escort me to the telephone post (12 meters away from me). I'll try again tomorrow.

I received the first issue of the Economist. It looks thinner than the North American version. It's good to read some stuff in English at least.

In my wing of the prison, everyone has his own cell with a toilet seat and shaver in the corner, a bed, a sink (porcelain) with a mirror above it, a TV (15 or 17 inch) with French channels only (I rely on France 24 since it has more international news than the rest), a window (barred/caged) that overlooks a football field which is surrounded by many buildings. The prison houses about 4,000 inmates, the largest in Europe! Also there are open cupboards, a hanger with four hooks, and three lights (one for the sink, one for the bathroom, and one for main cell). The size of the cell including the bathroom is 4 by 2.5 meters. I can make coffee or tea using a stick heater or purchase an electric top stove. The canteen has a variety of food, including vegetables, fruits, and meat. I buy garlic and lemon to add to almost all my food to make it edible. The colors of my cell are green and white. We can wear any clothes (no belts), unlike the ugly orange jump suits at the Ottawa Carleton Detention Centre (OCDC).

The noise level is high. We hear from time to time about inmates and guards fighting despite the extra 2-3 years prison penalty for attacking a guard. Raids against illegal stuff are common in other wings and buildings.

It's destiny perhaps! Is it? “How can I ease the pain?” Lisa Fischer asked a long time ago! But where's the answer?

I won against myself in a long chess game.

Jonathan and I did a good amount of exercise today while the others talked or smoked. Sunday is quieter usually than weekdays which helps bring memories, especially of my nightingales and that invites tears to come out of my eyes. I tried hard to drift away with my thinking so I don't cry missing my nightingales. Well, I'll manage to stand firm.

I forgot to tell you about my first meeting in Montreal with the French team who came to take me out of Canada [on November 14, 2014]. The team consisted of one woman and two men who didn't speak English. They were with the Quebec RCMP team whose seriousness was so much in contrast with the French team. The French woman asked me at one point, after inquiring if I had any questions, if I wanted to go with her team to France. I asked her whether I had any other options, but she said no! Then I said you're not asking me but ordering me. She laughed and said yes.