Heavy memories of my nightingales

November 22-30, 2014

Another regular day... 9 to 11 am was normal, walking on the caged terrace with four others. Back to my cell to eat, then at 2 pm I went to meet my lawyer in the “parlor” (visiting lawyers’ section). We met in a room with guards outside. I didn't want to read Rania's letter before discussing the case or I'll be emotional and with little focus. I couldn't take Jena's absence and my heart breaks when I remember her. My eyes are wet now... stop it...

Constantly, one has to dodge any thought or idea of feeling/remembering family, friends, and loved ones. The race is always between thinking positively of my loved ones and dodging that thought. One can easily fall into a dark hole if the dodging is not successful.

The weather is cloudy, damp since one or two days ago. The shy sun has left us for good.

I got the stuff I ordered last week -- bananas, almonds, garlic (yes garlic), yogurt (2 kinds), and cheese. They didn't find lemon today. Maybe later. I guess I exhausted much of my canteen. I went alone to the terrace this pm (2 to 4). I read more of the novel “Half of a Yellow Sun”. I'm afraid I might finish the last 200 pages sooner than I had thought.

Jo Wood ordered a book for me, “Benign Bigotry”, that arrived today. It's in the social psychology area. Thanks Jo. It is the first book that I've received. There was one football game that I caught half way.

I stayed up late and kept the lights on, so I wasn't sure how many times the guards came to turn the lights on. I read a big chunk of the novel while watching an after midnight special program. More quietness around. Life goes on with heavy memories of my nightingales. I miss every one of them. I'll not allow myself to think again...

Still there's no way to make phone calls. I must wait one full week from last Thursday when I charged my account 10 Euros. I didn't know this early enough to fill my account with money. I'd love to hear everyone's voices, especially Jena's...

Happy Birthday anyway!

November 19-21, 2014

Dearest Nightingales,

I miss you a lot. I sent you my first letter this morning. I was taken by surprise and didn't have time to end it properly because at 7 am the door opened and the three papers of the letter were scattered around, so I collected them and put them in the envelop without saying goodbye...

I went alone twice to the “terrace” (caged exercise area), from 9 to 11 am and 2 to 4 pm. Nothing before, in between, or after happened. The good thing is that I got some clothes (some new) from Chris. I may only need my hiking shoes from your side. I’ll let you know if I need other stuff. I think the TV, despite its nonsense, keeps me a bit sane.

Yes, it's my birthday today. I'm doing fine, not depressed or in low morale. Still strong, rather stronger than ever since I know that all what we're seeing here is no more than a bad phase that the strong sunshine will fade away. Happy Birthday anyway!

I had a long chat with Chris... He's very helpful. He sent me some food today -- coffee (Nescafe instant), bananas, dates, etc. It was nice to see such kind acts. He also translated to the guards what I needed today like toilet paper, dustbin, and small broom. So I'm close to being settled except for the lack of contact with you, to say the least, and the rest of the world.

I know things are different at your end after this shock. However, I am sure you're strong... My Jena is strong though delicate... Give her extra kisses and hugs. Love to you all! I'll write more tomorrow. Good night.

I ate the last of three croissants that Chris sent me with some jam and cocoa. Nothing exciting! Went back to bed for one hour then got ready for the 9 to 11 promenade (on the caged terrace). Again I was put with Chris and Jon. We walked and did some exercises (less than yesterday). Pascal wasn't there. André joined us in the last 40 minutes or so. Not much mingling since the other two talked in French, so I exercised alone when they talked. The weather is still reasonable temperature-wise (9-10 degrees C), and the sun was out for the first time but in a very shy way and for a short time. I walked and read some of “Half of a Yellow Sun”. It was sad and drove me into a melancholic state.

I turn the TV on so I cook my head in its foolish programs. For the first time I see a musical program. Oh it's Friday night, I forgot that. I cannot allow myself to think of you much, otherwise I would collapse instantly. Better think of distractions, with no “why” questions! Not much to say or... I'll read more perhaps. I can sleep better.

The sound of metal doors banging and shouting lasted for so long and came from the doors opposite... It's close to midnight and the banging hasn't stopped. Some detained men are protesting the noise but the banging continues...

I miss you tremendously

Monday November 17, 2014

Dearest Nightingales,

I hope all is well with you all. I miss you tremendously. I’m not sure when I'll have the permission to send letters and make phone calls especially for you. I’m writing so I’ll have something ready to send once I'm allowed to do so.

The trip from the Ottawa Carleton Detention Centre (OCDC) to the plane in Montreal was harder than the flight. It took from 5:00 AM to 7:00 AM to reach Montreal's Trudeau Airport, where I stayed in a cell until little before 7:00 PM when the plane took off. I protested the RCMP officer's maltreatment. He confiscated my eye glasses and my belt and, most importantly, my jacket in the cold cell (he offered me later some coarse blankets). I entered into a long crisis of coughing. I refused any food. He tried later to mend the situation but I told him how robotic he was.

Anyway the cell in prison here is less worse than OCDC. I have my own (!) TV, though all programs are in French only. However TV is free only the 1st month. After that I should pay 10 Euros monthly. There's a corner in the cell which consists of a shower and toilet seat. I should keep them clean. I have a sink, cupboards (open ones) and a desk with a mini single bed (plastic mattress and triangular pillow). There's one window that I can open and get fresh air. There are a few activities here like walking in a "demi" or 1/2 roofed cell. You may see it as a balcony with caged top and sides.

More than anything else, I was sad for not being with my lovely daughter Jena on her second birthday. I cry whenever I think of her missed birthday. I prevent myself from thinking of anything so I don't lose my composure because I need to be strong to face all the ludicrous allegations and movies manufactured with bad taste. Please convey my special love to all our lovely friends.

I haven't asked you about food and how Jena and you are managing. I wish I can send you some cooked meals. Tell me more about Jena. Take daily notes of her development, new words, and naughtiness, etc. Write them all, in addition of course to your jokes!

I receive 1 baguette per day (inedible the next day). I also had some cheese and I had some coffee with milk (powder). I should keep some of the dinner served at 5:30 PM for tomorrow's breakfast which is not served. Food is first served at 12:00 noon, but I can eat from what I keep in my little storage cabin. I can make my own coffee since one guard gave me today (from his boss) a little heater stick that I put in water to prepare coffee or, for the first time I saw a tea bag. Tea bags don't exist in the canteen list. Strange. Well it was mint tea, not black tea. What a disappointment!

I missed the Gatineau walk yesterday. I hope you managed to take Jena out instead of going with her usual friends. Tell the group that I walked alone after waiting for them for a long time without realizing the 6 hours difference between France's and North America's time... ha ha

Well inmates got up here (largest prison in Europe according to one of the guards) and they started shouting to each other across buildings and large spaces. It looks like a city with 4-6 story buildings all around 2 football fields with artificial green grass.

I just remembered why they took some pictures of me at OCDC, less than 16 hours before my extradition. They issued me a temporary passport that would allow me to travel. The fastest passport ever that can be issued in a record time.

I don't know what else is going on here or there. I know one thing and that is I miss you all like crazy. Especially my little daughter... oops... just mentioning her name brings down my tears... I cannot take it... Kiss her good from me.

Welcome to Hassan Diab's prison diary

This blog features excerpts from Dr. Hassan Diab's letters from prison to his family in Canada.

Dr. Diab is a Canadian citizen and sociology professor who was extradited to France on November 14, 2014. He is incarcerated at a prison near Paris, where he may remain for two or more years while a French investigating magistrate decides whether to bring him to trial.

Dr. Diab has always asserted his innocence. He was not in France at the time of the 1980 rue Copernic bombing. He is not an anti-Semite, and he strongly condemns all forms of bigotry and violence. Family, friends, and colleagues attest to his humanistic and peaceful character. His palm prints and fingerprints do not match those of the suspect.

Dr. Diab was extradited based solely on a handwriting analysis report submitted by France that compared Dr. Diab’s handwriting to five words written by the suspect on a hotel registration card in 1980. Five leading international handwriting experts testified that the handwriting analysis report is flawed, unreliable, and biased, and that an objective analysis points to Dr. Diab’s innocence. The Canadian extradition judge described the evidence as “very problematic”, “convoluted”, “very confusing” and “with conclusions that are suspect”. He further noted that the case against Dr. Diab is “weak” and “the prospects of conviction in the context of a fair trial seem unlikely”. Despite this, the Supreme Court of Canada refused to hear Dr. Diab’s appeal and he was torn away from his home and family in Canada.

The case against Dr. Diab is anchored in intelligence from unknown sources. Even the French investigating magistrate does not know the source of this intelligence or how it was obtained. Reliance on such intelligence is deeply troubling because there is no way to challenge it or know the circumstances under which it was obtained. There is a real risk that the intelligence may be the product of torture.

In prison, Dr. Diab is confined to his cell for 20 hours a day. In the four hours a day when he is allowed to leave his cell, he may interact with other inmates and access a small library and a caged exercise area. The hardest part for Hassan is being separated from his family in Canada. He communicates with his family through letters and phone calls. He is not allowed to receive phone calls, and can only make calls to approved phone numbers.

The discredited handwriting analysis and unsourced intelligence remain in the dossier in France. There is a real risk that Dr. Diab may be wrongfully convicted. Hassan must be allowed to return to his home in Canada. Making an innocent man pay for a crime he did not commit will only further the tragedy.

To learn more about Dr. Hassan Diab's case, please visit: http://www.justiceforhassandiab.org