I finally succeeded in calling you

Tuesday, January 13, 2015

Yes, Yes, Yes. I finally succeeded in calling you. It was my 164th attempt!

Here's what I had to do: Dial 1, then ID number, followed by password, then choose 1 for telephone, then dial international and Canada codes, then dial your number, then push A for connection, and there are always a few seconds of waiting between each punch. Anyway, I was extremely happy today to hear your voices, including little Bulbul's!

I forgot to tell you earlier that visitations here are better than at OCDC [Ottawa Carleton Detention Centre] where I could only talk to you via phone behind a glass barrier. Here, visitors are allowed inside small cabins (rooms) with guards outside the door; they can peek through little windows if they wish. At least I can hug you all for a minimum of 30 minutes per visit (45 minutes if you come from a distance of more than 150 Kms), three times per week.

I received your letter (dated December 26 and stamped December 30) after I spoke with you. I liked it, though it gave me tears every time I imagined Jena doing this or that, and it hurts when I read all her questions and requests for me to come back. I hope she’ll adapt more because it’s hard on everyone to see her under such conditions. At least I was happy to know that she’s full of beans...

You know, I was so happy to hear your voice but I forgot what we talked about. I’ll remember everything tonight. I miss you and Bulbula so much, and love to see you and little Bulbul soon. I hope you're doing well, Habibti, and wish you the best.

What a day!

Monday, January 12, 2015

This morning we did two hours of sport. I’m the only one with a belly and they asked me if I was pregnant. I said yes in the seventh month. However, I’m working on reducing it.

We have the “cercle de lectures” this afternoon. I need to participate more in French and less in English.

I just dialed your number 12 times hoping to contact you. As usual, I’m out of luck.

I received from Bob and Linda two books and a letter together with another letter separately. From Ria, I received a nice card. From Jo, I received three books from November 24, 2014. Like Bob's book, they came late... I received one letter from Virginia, one letter from Barbara, one letter from Jan, and one from Ria (in the same envelope) with photos of Jena. I also received your letter from December 29... I received Ali’s nice letter. He's amazing. Please thank them all! How did I forget? I also received Jena's beautiful letter. I hope she’ll like the drawing I made for her (included here).

It rained letters, books, cards, photos... What a day! The woman in charge of “cercle de lectures” brought me three books in English today, while an inmate brought me three books (grammar, etc.) to learn French. My place will soon be full of books and journals. It’s good I’m not sharing the cell or I would be sleeping on my books.

Some of the letters and especially the books were sent as far back as November 24 and I got them today, January 12 (about 44 days later). All the letters are from December 2014. Yours is probably the most recent. You said you sent another letter two days earlier, but I didn't see it. Maybe it's in the receiving room. Hopefully I’ll receive it tomorrow or so.

I look at Jena’s letter and smile. It looks like she's keeping everyone busy with her jumping, talking, and especially football playing. She has tons of friends now.

As you can guess, most of the news on TV is about the incidents of last week. It brings so much to mind the memory of 9/11 in NY, especially the aftermath of the attack. The future doesn’t look promising. Every time you entertain the idea that finally reason will prevail you get disappointed. At the end of the day, only innocent people pay the price for all the uncertainties and messy situations.

How strange now. I have so many books to read. I read constantly and the number of books is growing faster. I had almost nothing to read the first week I arrived.

I can’t wait to read your post-delivery letter to see how things went. How’s the little baby doing, his attitude, his sister’s reaction and interaction with him? Does she feel she wants to be in charge and help? Try to make two short videos of them every month so I might be able to have a look at them one day...

I love that Bulbul!

Thursday, January 8, 2015

Nice weather today (maybe 8 C?). Jude and Sue will visit me at 4:00 pm today, I’m happy to just sniff and hold my Bulbul after so long. I'm afraid I'll not be able to speak because of the overwhelming emotions.

I waited and waited until I finally met him, the tallest and thinnest boy I’ve seen lately. He’s sweeter than anything. He sat quietly. I couldn’t have enough of him. I love that Bulbul!

We talked mostly about my conditions. I felt the visit ended within two minutes, although the guard said we took 37 minutes. I didn’t have a watch.

* * * * * *

Sunday, January 11, 2015

I didn’t write anything during Jude and Sue’s visit. I was overwhelmed by my big and tall Bulbul. I was impressed by everything he represented and showed. He is everything one could wish to have and be. Let me admit that I may be biased. However, I can’t say I found a similar 14–15 year old boy like him elsewhere.

Sue and Jude brought me some books and clothes. I was happy to receive gloves and a hat. I feel so good now. I touched Bulbul after more than six years... I have to stop writing or my tears will blind me when I mention his name or think of him.

I just came back from the telephone booth where I called Samia after failing to contact you. Sometime in the coming week, I’ll see what’s going on regarding my inability to contact you... I’m very unhappy with the lack of telephone communications. Well, I’ll keep thinking of the little Balabels [nightingales / kids] that you have to deal with. I think of how much time you need versus how much time you have, of the help you need, of all the details... I try to look at the bright side and feel you have a circle of friends who are eager to help... I’m waiting to receive a letter with the baby’s photos from Samia.

I finished the drawing I intend to send with this letter (for Jena) and I need to write her a story after I finish the letter...

I’m still dreaming of you my little Bulbul

Wednesday, January 7, 2015

Good morning, nightingales. I’m still dreaming of you my little Bulbul [baby].

I just got the news from Samia confirming that the baby is here. A little less than seven pounds with an accusation that he looks like me (poor fella). Samia didn’t give me the exact the time of birth. She conveyed the message that Rania and the baby are doing well and in good health... I wish I could contact you directly so I can hear your and the baby’s voice and he can hear me too. Things in Ottawa look fine and I’m so sorry I cannot lend a hand in these crucial times.

I believe tomorrow Jude and Sue are coming for a visit. I said to myself the other day that my unpleasant situation at least allows me to see my dear Jude. I miss him tremendously and I’ll be so happy to hold him and kiss him in person after all the years.

The weather here is mild (between 0 and 8 degrees C), unlike your snowy one. We had a nice time in the library where I got a Larouse French-English-French dictionary, an Arabic book about the history of the Middle East, and a book about Turkish culture.

I received the Guardian, a card from Bessa (please thank her), and a letter with four photos of Jena and you in your mid-December pregnancy.

I did not receive any of the canteen items that I ordered last week because my account hit rock bottom. But since they deposited 150 Euros, I’m rich now; he, he, he. I don’t need any money for another month. I ordered garlic and lemon today, and shorts and gloves yesterday, and something else (I forgot what).

I have one plate, one glass bowl, two small glasses (I bought one of them) for tea or water (like the small tea glasses we have at home), one large spoon, one small spoon, one big fork, and a small pen knife. This is my collection of kitchen tools. I usually eat from the plastic containers they bring our food in.

I use my shelf outside the window in the cage as a fridge so I don't have to pay 5 Euros per month for a fridge as long as the weather is cold. I ordered more cheese than usual, since I didn't have any after the financial crisis. So, hopefully next week I'll be healthy and fat again.

I hear that Jena exhausted Jo’s photos on her machine... I just love her. I hope she liked the fox story. I’ll try to write another one for her and one for the little Bulbul. You can read them both stories, and I have to think of new stories now...